Let's not beat around the bush here: The bad thing about Sun City is, people die. Don't get me wrong, when the old-timers check out, we all tend to celebrate their life and the fact they had a good/great run in Sun City. The real tragedy is when we lose those still in their 60's and early 70's. And the crappy thing is it happens here (okay, it happens everywhere, but because everyone we know or come in contact with is a senior, it seems worse). Just this morning I got an email an old golfing buddy had passed away. Gabe Estrada was a mere 66 years old and might have been one of the nicest people I have ever met. He enjoyed life and looked forward to everything he did. He always had a smile on his face and was quick to try and make others feel the same way. I still chuckle when I think of his massive family get-togethers for the Estrada Open. Our heart goes out to his wife Jill and his family. I was remiss in not mentioning the passing of Tom Clark, age 69. He died about a month ago and his Sun City legacy will live on for years. Back around 2005 the Sun Dial roof collapsed over the pool area. The RCSC had no contingency fund (they do now) and the insurance company was jacking them around. They needed to cut every corner they could to scrounge up enough money to try and fix it. One of those items was the life long learning program through ASU. It was costing around $75,000 a year. Like all things Sun City, when we see a problem, we find our own solution. Tom, who had a background in education, and a handful of others quickly took on the task of starting their own life long learning program. This was no small task. They started a club so they had space, found instructors to teach for free and built one hell of a program. Tom was just stepping down from it this year. He was unbelievable in what he was willing to do to grow it to the success it is today. Again, our sympathies to his wife Katherine and his family. Both of these young men will be missed. They both made Sun City a better place. Cancer got each of them and took them quickly. In the 12 years we have lived here, it happens too often. If there is a ray of sunshine in this, we know Sun City residents on the cumulative often beat the mortality charts by a lot. The tragedy is in those that don't get there. For both Tom and Gabe, they lived life full of energy and enjoying their time here doing what they wanted. In the end, it's pretty much all of us can ask or hope for. Bye boys, you made my life better just by knowing you. You will be missed.
My deepest and most sincere condolences to you B and their families. Just in my dual cul du sac hood since December, We've lost four amazing human beings.
Certainly more to their families 3G. These were acquaintances, people I met along the way who had an impact because of how they were, not who they were. It's the beauty of Sun City. We talk about being a community, not a city and with that comes the chance to interact with hundreds if not thousands of people while living here. I grew up in St Paul Minnesota, spent my whole life there. While it's not New York or Los Angeles, it's most assuredly not small town USA. If you ever watched the 1962 promotional video The Beginning (find Part 1 here and Part 2 here)you've seen and heard this description of Sun City: "It's a metropolis in miniature, but business is done with small town friendliness." It was one of the things I was so attracted to; we weren't just another city to live in, we had a sense of community and belonging. We had a history that mattered and people that could make a difference. The simple fact is, the more we elect to do here, the more people we get to know. Outside the walls people tend to become marginalized. In Sun City, that's less likely to happen. Don't get me wrong, if you do nothing, it's easy to be invisible. On the other hand, if you want to be a part of it, step outside your door and you can touch as many people as you choose to reach out to. Gabe played golf with everybody, Tom was an integral part of building the Sun City Life Long Learning club. It doesn't matter how you do it, what matters is if you do it. It's just another one of those intangibles that makes us different from so many other places.
This should probably be on a new thread, but when Emily referenced stories I realized I am now one of those "old" folks, depending on who you talk to of course. Yes Emily, 70 doesn't seem that old at all now. At our Civil Air Patrol meeting last night I was talking with the cadets (12-16 years old). As one of them checked their cell phone I said we didn't have those when I was a kid. They asked, "how did you check your email, did you use your computer?" When I explained that no one had a personal computer, they weren't invented yet, I got blank stares. Then one asked, "but, how did you know what your friends were doing?" I said, "you go to their house and find out". Then she asked, "couldn't you just call them?". I said, "yes, but you hoped they would answer before the neighbor did because you were on a party line." That went into a whole different discussion. The final conclusion by these youngsters was, "wow, life was really weird way back then, I can't imagine living like that." Conclusion; in their eyes I'm an old dude, it is all perspective I guess. But of course way back then mom would send me to the store with a dollar to get a loaf of bread, and bottle of milk, and a pound of ground beef and I would get 12 cents change back.
It's almost like you were reading my mind BW. Before I retired and for a handful of years after, I was involved in Union reform. We were trying to "fix" organized labor from the outside (I came to understand I couldn't do it from within). On one of the sites I spent a lot of time on, one of the posters used to argue we need to tell our stories. I always struggled to get it, now I do. I can walk into any bookstore in town and find a dozen biographies by politicians telling you how great they are. I don't want to read about the Clinton's, the Bushes and especially not the Trumpster. That said, I've loved pouring through the oral histories of those who came to Sun City before us and helped make it what it is today. Everyday people making a difference every day they lived here. That's powerful, compelling to me. As time marches on, we need follow in those same steps, share our stories, build a legacy. Nope, not about us, but about how and what we did to make a difference in Sun City. And let me be clear, you don't need to be an officer on the RCSC board of directors. Any role you fill helps build the puzzle, shape our destiny. When we think about living in Sun City, we need think about what part we fill to make it more complete. Being a part of something that special is way better (IMHO) than just playing ones life away.
Emily - A few months after we made the decision that SC would be for us, we came to the same comment your husband made - as we age, and if we are going to live in an over 55 community and make friends there, we will need to prepare for people passing at a greater rate. Bruce, Bill - yes, some people may start (sadly) thinking of BC as "before computers". Good or bad, I don't know. My dad always told me that I needed to know how to drive a car that had a clutch, and for some time it difficult to get kids to read a clock that had hands. What do parents say to their kids now "you should know how to add 2 + 2 without a calculator" or "you should know how to read a map because you may be someplace where your gps doesn't work"? Do you ever wonder what these kids will face and what they are using right now that will seem outdated?
I've heard some people do not want to move to a 55+ communities because they fear seeing neighbors/friends die. But in most places I've lived neighbors come and go, moving to new places after 10 or so years. Although they might not die, mostly we don't keep in contact after that. Yes we might meet some who become a very good friends and it's especially hard when they die, but in reality that can happen anywhere. If we stay where we are living those friends are older too. Most older people don't become good friends with groups of 20-somethings who stay our neighbors...they move away. I don't see it as very different. People just come in and out throughout our lives. The older we get the more people we will see die, regardless of where we live, because it's our group. That's the thought I keep when thinking about the downside of living in a retirement community.
Just left Gabe's memorial service/mass and there was a great crowd for hot early afternoon in July. He was the kind of guy you met and didn't forget. One of the cool things was in the program where they used the old line: "A stranger was just a friend he hadn't met yet." Been a while since I heard that, and it was spot on for Gabe. No question, people do die everywhere. The problem is in Sun City it's magnified because we are all nearing that dreaded mortality chart. Worse yet is, if you are at all active, your circle of friends/acquaintances grows wider than from where you came; especially as you age. Death is just one of those things we see here often and for me it becomes far less sad when you know people have lived a fulfilling life inside these white walls.
